Sorry for the pause in reflecting on the Dalai Lama’s 18 Rules for Living. I’ve been a little off my game and writing just didn’t figure into it for a while. But I’m back now and #4 is a meaty one:
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
I’m starting to see a pattern here from the Wise One. So many of his rules for life target those times in life when things don’t go your way. Disaster, sickness, injury or pain constitute the core of human suffering. In my experience, folks seem pretty good at handling the big stuff. For the most part, serious problems enable us to focus, like when a family member is ill. Priorities become very clear. It’s almost primal, like fight or flight. The low-level disturbances fade away and taking care of family, being of service and surrounding yourself with the people you love truly matters. Everything else recedes into the distance. Decisions can be reduced to simply doing the next right thing.
But when I’m not facing a real crisis, my mind gets busy fanning my luxury problem into flames. These little disappointments plague us all on a daily basis—the job I want doesn’t come through, the guy I like doesn’t ask me out, my big footed neighbor makes me resent my otherwise delightful condo. Inevitably, when the solution to whatever problem I have doesn’t materialize as envisioned, self-pity wells up and I feel bedeviled by problems.
The Dalai Lama suggests that we look at these minor disturbances as a stroke of luck. That’s a little too far across the spectrum toward optimism for me. I’ve heard others say someone’s rejection is God’s protection. Hmmm. I’m not sure about that but I do know that things work out. These little speed bumps slow me down but they don’t stop forward progress. And in the scheme of things, the small stuff really doesn’t matter.
I haven’t been dropped yet. I continue to have everything I need, even if it’s not everything I want. For today, that’s enough.
Boonedoggler 